Now Never Ends~: 06/16/13

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Waited

The worst mistake you can make is walking away from the person who actually stood there and waited for you.

Expecting negative things to get better....

Leaving someone in their weakest is just proving how wrong you were for them.

Don’t leave me alone, please.

We told Dads they're going to be Grandpas

So this is what happens when you tell your two gay dads that they’re going to be grandpas.

Dear Darla, I hate your stinking guts! You make me vomit! You're a scum between my toes! Love, Alfalfa

Dear Darla,
I can't life without you.... really...
I'm not kidding
Your Romeo,
Alfafala

It's a process.. "change takes time"

Some Signs that Life is Demanding your Attention

The same themes and patterns (which are usually self-defeating) keep reappearing, or repeating themselves.
Unresolved issues and heartache from your past, are stopping you from living and enjoying your life now. These are triggered more frequently and easily today.
You have trouble coping with powerful emotions – like overwhelming anger or excessive crying.
You feel anxious, restless and dissatisfied, and feel as if something needs to change in your life.
You feel dazed or shocked by something that has happened, and can’t pick up the pieces and “be normal” again.
You keep pushing down your feelings, and denying your emotions, but they keep resurfacing – and just won’t go away.
You make superficial changes as you’re scared of digging deeper. - but that doesn’t work for long as the real problem’s still there.
You can’t let go of something that meant a lot to you – a disappointment, or a failure, or a past relationship.

When they say it’s the best feeling ever, they aren’t kidding.

The honorary duty of a human being is to love.
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
Talent is like electricity. We don’t understand electricity. We use it. You can plug into it and light up a lamp, keep a heart pump going, light a cathedral, or you can electrocute a person with it.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
There’s a world of difference between truth and facts. Facts can obscure truth.
My mother said I must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy. That some people, unable to go to school, were more educated and more intelligent than college professors.
Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him.
Life loves the liver of it.
The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.
When you learn, teach, when you get, give.
Some critics will write ‘Maya Angelou is a natural writer’ - which is right after being a natural heart surgeon.

Holding hands

— Carl Sagan

“Every star may be a sun to someone.”

so sweet :)

Choices

The heart loves
Whom it chooses
We have no right
To say or decide
Whom the heart
Shall love

For the heart
Is of the inner being
Part of the inner soul
Part of what connects
One to another

The heart alone chooses
Whom we shall love
The mind tries
The mind fails
One can not tell the heart
Whom it shall love.

Why can't i be beautiful like her.

— Marilyn Hacker, Nearly A Valediction

You happened to me.
You were as deep down as
I’ve ever been.
You were inside me
like my pulse.

I like him a real lot

You never really know who or what your baby is laughing at ♥

Periods
Period cramps
Sore tits
Mood swings
Picking out outfits for the day
Styling hair after showering
Having a hard time running cause of your tits
Making sure you don’t get pregnant
Carrying the baby
Being called a bitch, whore, hoe for no apparent reason
Make sure you don’t get raped
Having pedophiles hit on you
Oh, and fancying the f**k out of someone that doesn’t know you exist on the earth.

Uterus

Uterus: Why are you not pregnant?
Uterus: F**k you, gonna make you bleed out of your vagina and give you PAIN.
Uterus: The f**k is this embryo?
Uterus: Why is it making me so big?
Uterus: I DO NOT LIKE THIS HUMAN
Uterus: HOW DARE YOU DEFY MY RIGHT TO BLEED EVERY MONTH?
Uterus: Here, I give you labor. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR TRYING TO DEFY ME YOU SILLY HUMAN

— Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

“Sometimes letting go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.”

— Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

The Eightfold Path of Buddhism:

1. Right View

Right view is the beginning and the end of the path, it simply means to see and to understand things as they really are and to realize the Four Noble Truth. As such, right view is the cognitive aspect of wisdom. It means to see things through, to grasp the impermanent and imperfect nature of worldly objects and ideas, and to understand the law of karma and karmic conditioning. Right view is not necessarily an intellectual capacity, just as wisdom is not just a matter of intelligence. Instead, right view is attained, sustained, and enhanced through all capacities of mind. It begins with the intuitive insight that all beings are subject to suffering and it ends with complete understanding of the true nature of all things. Since our view of the world forms our thoughts and our actions, right view yields right thoughts and right actions.

2. Right Intention

While right view refers to the cognitive aspect of wisdom, right intention refers to the volitional aspect, i.e. the kind of mental energy that controls our actions. Right intention can be described best as commitment to ethical and mental self-improvement. Buddha distinguishes three types of right intentions: 1. the intention of renunciation, which means resistance to the pull of desire, 2. the intention of good will, meaning resistance to feelings of anger and aversion, and 3. the intention of harmlessness, meaning not to think or act cruelly, violently, or aggressively, and to develop compassion.

3. Right Speech

Right speech is the first principle of ethical conduct in the eightfold path. Ethical conduct is viewed as a guideline to moral discipline, which supports the other principles of the path. This aspect is not self-sufficient, however, essential, because mental purification can only be achieved through the cultivation of ethical conduct. The importance of speech in the context of Buddhist ethics is obvious: words can break or save lives, make enemies or friends, start war or create peace. Buddha explained right speech as follows: 1. to abstain from false speech, especially not to tell deliberate lies and not to speak deceitfully, 2. to abstain from slanderous speech and not to use words maliciously against others, 3. to abstain from harsh words that offend or hurt others, and 4. to abstain from idle chatter that lacks purpose or depth. Positively phrased, this means to tell the truth, to speak friendly, warm, and gently and to talk only when necessary.

4. Right Action

The second ethical principle, right action, involves the body as natural means of expression, as it refers to deeds that involve bodily actions. Unwholesome actions lead to unsound states of mind, while wholesome actions lead to sound states of mind. Again, the principle is explained in terms of abstinence: right action means 1. to abstain from harming sentient beings, especially to abstain from taking life (including suicide) and doing harm intentionally or delinquently, 2. to abstain from taking what is not given, which includes stealing, robbery, fraud, deceitfulness, and dishonesty, and 3. to abstain from sexual misconduct. Positively formulated, right action means to act kindly and compassionately, to be honest, to respect the belongings of others, and to keep sexual relationships harmless to others. Further details regarding the concrete meaning of right action can be found in the Precepts.

5. Right Livelihood

Right livelihood means that one should earn one’s living in a righteous way and that wealth should be gained legally and peacefully. The Buddha mentions four specific activities that harm other beings and that one should avoid for this reason: 1. dealing in weapons, 2. dealing in living beings (including raising animals for slaughter as well as slave trade and prostitution), 3. working in meat production and butchery, and 4. selling intoxicants and poisons, such as alcohol and drugs. Furthermore any other occupation that would violate the principles of right speech and right action should be avoided.

6. Right Effort

Right effort can be seen as a prerequisite for the other principles of the path. Without effort, which is in itself an act of will, nothing can be achieved, whereas misguided effort distracts the mind from its task, and confusion will be the consequence. Mental energy is the force behind right effort; it can occur in either wholesome or unwholesome states. The same type of energy that fuels desire, envy, aggression, and violence can on the other side fuel self-discipline, honesty, benevolence, and kindness. Right effort is detailed in four types of endeavors that rank in ascending order of perfection: 1. to prevent the arising of unarisen unwholesome states, 2. to abandon unwholesome states that have already arisen, 3. to arouse wholesome states that have not yet arisen, and 4. to maintain and perfect wholesome states already arisen.

7. Right Mindfulness

Right mindfulness is the controlled and perfected faculty of cognition. It is the mental ability to see things as they are, with clear consciousness. Usually, the cognitive process begins with an impression induced by perception, or by a thought, but then it does not stay with the mere impression. Instead, we almost always conceptualize sense impressions and thoughts immediately. We interpret them and set them in relation to other thoughts and experiences, which naturally go beyond the facticity of the original impression. The mind then posits concepts, joins concepts into constructs, and weaves those constructs into complex interpretative schemes. All this happens only half consciously, and as a result we often see things obscured. Right mindfulness is anchored in clear perception and it penetrates impressions without getting carried away. Right mindfulness enables us to be aware of the process of conceptualization in a way that we actively observe and control the way our thoughts go. Buddha accounted for this as the four foundations of mindfulness: 1. contemplation of the body, 2. contemplation of feeling (repulsive, attractive, or neutral), 3. contemplation of the state of mind, and 4. contemplation of the phenomena.

8. Right Concentration

The eighth principle of the path, right concentration, refers to the development of a mental force that occurs in natural consciousness, although at a relatively low level of intensity, namely concentration. Concentration in this context is described as one-pointedness of mind, meaning a state where all mental faculties are unified and directed onto one particular object. Right concentration for the purpose of the eightfold path means wholesome concentration, i.e. concentration on wholesome thoughts and actions. The Buddhist method of choice to develop right concentration is through the practice of meditation. The meditating mind focuses on a selected object. It first directs itself onto it, then sustains concentration, and finally intensifies concentration step by step. Through this practice it becomes natural to apply elevated levels concentration also in everyday situations.

Brain cells vs. The Universe

a day in the life of a doctor [source: unknown]

I’m in my second year of medical school now. I feel like I’ve settled into a certain routine now. When I go to school, I recognize the faces and my lecturers know my name. I look at the first years who are so lost in this space and sometimes I find it strange being in this part of my life. I feel like I know just enough so that I can get away with messing with the first years. But I don’t know nearly enough to hang out with the cool third years who are out seeing real patients on the wards. Two weeks ago, my entire class went on a rural medical placement. I spent a day with a doctor who had been practicing for nearly twice my lifetime. I got to observe him just talk to his patients. It’s a real art, this whole medicine thing. Back when I used to dream about being a doctor, I always thought that the answers were always clear cut. They were in some textbook that only doctors could read. They were in a secret safe that only doctors could access. But it’s only now that I’m here, drowning myself in the harrowing grips of being a doctor in a couple of years, I realize that there is no secret. There is no great plan. The secret is wide open — it’s just as mysterious for the doctor as it is for the patient. I mean, now that I’ve watched it happen, I can appreciate it more. When you’re sitting in your off-white office and a patient walks through the door, you have no idea what’s going to happen. You’re taken for the ride. The questions you are trained to ask are just ballpark. Somewhere close. And all you’re trained to do is to sift through the mountains of ridiculousness and rule things out. In fact, I was surprised to find out that there aren’t actually cures in medicine. Only treatments to symptoms, nothing more. It’s not as though doctors are privy to some kind of code of information that anyone else isn’t allowed to look at. In fact, anyone with an Internet connection and basic Googling skills can work their way through this mess.

At least, that’s where I am now. That’s who I am. I’m a medical student whose expertise has been thus far derived partly by lectures, partly by my own interest and mostly by Google. I’m no further up the payscale than a homeless person. In fact I am really nothing except for a critical sponge. I’ll push and push until my questions are answered and I’ll ask you more questions. At the end, maybe I’ll learn the art of being a doctor. It’s a long leap and I feel like I’m in a prime position to see into the future and into the past. I know who I was last year. In fact, this blog was who I was. It is a running diary of who I was. This blog started as a recording of my headaches. Believe it or not, I started it to record my experiences of having a migraine for the first time. And then I just started writing about people. Eventually it just became a place where I could come to just to dump all of this thought-nonsense.

If it’s making sense to you, out there, I’m happy about that. If you think I’m talking to you, maybe I am. But I believe I’m talking to myself. I’m talking myself out of making some bad decisions.

the generation that paid three times as much for college to enter a job market

“You mean the generation that paid three times as much for college to enter a job market with triple the unemployment isn’t interested in purchasing the assets of the generation who just blew an enormous housing bubble and kept it from popping through quantitative easing and out-and-out federal support? Curious.”

— When comments are better than the article, Atlantic edition (“The Cheapest Generation: Why Millennials arent’ buying cars or houses, and what that means for the economy”)

— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

“He looked at her the way
all women wanted to be looked at
by a man.”

— YM

“When we can’t marry the person we had in mind, our inability to look beyond may even blindsight us from someone who is in fact better for us. When we don’t get hired, or we lose something dear to us, it’s hard to take a step back and notice the bigger picture. Often God takes things away from us, only to replace them with something greater.”

i hate it when

there’s like a feeling in your gut that something is very wrong and the feeling is so strong that it makes you feel physically ill but the problem is that there’s actually nothing wrong so you don’t know what to do

and the feeling just doesn’t go away

what if you have a soul mate and thats what happens

when theyre in trouble

to always be good and kind and loving.

Please don't expect me
to always be good and kind and loving.
There are times when i will be cold
and thoughtless
and hard to understand.

Just because

— Unknown

“There are two types of waiting. There’s the the waiting you do for something you know is coming, sooner or later—like waiting for the 6:28 train, or the school bus, or a party where a certain handsome boy might be. And then there’s the waiting for something you don’t know is coming. You don’t even know what it is exactly, but you’re hoping for it. You’re imagining it and living your life for it. That’s the kind of waiting that makes a fist in your heart.”