“If the darkest hour is right before the dawn then hold on and make a cup tea while you are waiting to greet the new day.”
Saturday, October 26, 2013
— turning 20 | Caitlyn S.
“so now you’re about to turn twenty and the world hasn’t gotten any bigger for you. you’re untouched, unloved, unprepared. your parents still pay for your gas. your friends all have internships. one of them even got cast to be in a movie. you’ve got all this talent that you don’t know how to share. you just want to fuck someone, anyone, to feel a little less like an island. the man at the McDonald’s drive-thru held both sides of your hand when he handed you your change and you cried the entire way home. skin burns. you’re about to turn twenty and you feel like you’re fifteen. you sleep for fourteen hours and still need a nap. the world is shrinking one empty heartache at a time.
you’re scared you’ll never find anyone to love you, not even well. you’ll settle for anything.
don’t.
you’re about to turn twenty and they never remind you how young that is. falling in love does not make you grow up, heartbreak does, and there is more than one way to fall apart. you’re about to turn twenty and it’s okay if you aren’t ready. it’s okay if you aren’t ready. it’s okay.”
you’re scared you’ll never find anyone to love you, not even well. you’ll settle for anything.
don’t.
you’re about to turn twenty and they never remind you how young that is. falling in love does not make you grow up, heartbreak does, and there is more than one way to fall apart. you’re about to turn twenty and it’s okay if you aren’t ready. it’s okay if you aren’t ready. it’s okay.”
How to Cope with a Break Up
1. Cry as much as you want to and need to. Don’t try to repress or to bury the feelings.
2. Listen to breakup music as research shows it is therapeutic and helps you to recover. Also, it lowers your heart rate, reduces pain and helps to relieve any feelings of stress.
3. Allow yourself to feel completely numb for a while. It’s going to happen – so go with the flow. Also, don’t be afraid to be real with your friends and tell them “I feel empty and dead inside”. Know in time that will change; it’s a temporary thing.
4. Talk about it with your friends – they will help to bolster you. You need all the people and support you can muster. Also, it’s likely that the break up will dominate your thinking so keep on talking till you start to feel you’re freer.
5. Set a limit for your grief. That doesn’t mean you have to feel better by then – but eventually you’ll want to think about your future life again. You have your whole life to live so don’t get stuck in the pain.
6. Review the relationship and why it ended. Were the reasons cited by your partner really fair? Was he or she just blaming you, or running away? Were you truly happy? Was it really a good match?
7. If you think it’s worth it, then try and reconcile. But only do that once as it usually doesn’t work … and you’re simply dragging out the disappointment and the pain.
8. Stop sitting and waiting for the phone to ring. Try and fill your life with other people and new things.
9. Don’t stalk your ex on tumblr or facebook. Block them if you need to … but get them out your mind.
10. Reminisce about the bad times – and be glad that they are gone. It’s time to build a future that’s much better than that.
11. Go outside and get some exercise. Research clearly indicates that exercise can change how you feel, and help you put life in perspective. It’s worth the extra effort as you’ll reap the benefits.
12. Be nice to yourself – you need to give yourself a break. Just because some other person has dropped you from their life, it doesn’t mean you’re worthless or you’ll never find true love. Appreciate your strengths, and really love who you are, and think about the fun times you have had with others friends. You deserve to be happy and loved for who you are.
2. Listen to breakup music as research shows it is therapeutic and helps you to recover. Also, it lowers your heart rate, reduces pain and helps to relieve any feelings of stress.
3. Allow yourself to feel completely numb for a while. It’s going to happen – so go with the flow. Also, don’t be afraid to be real with your friends and tell them “I feel empty and dead inside”. Know in time that will change; it’s a temporary thing.
4. Talk about it with your friends – they will help to bolster you. You need all the people and support you can muster. Also, it’s likely that the break up will dominate your thinking so keep on talking till you start to feel you’re freer.
5. Set a limit for your grief. That doesn’t mean you have to feel better by then – but eventually you’ll want to think about your future life again. You have your whole life to live so don’t get stuck in the pain.
6. Review the relationship and why it ended. Were the reasons cited by your partner really fair? Was he or she just blaming you, or running away? Were you truly happy? Was it really a good match?
7. If you think it’s worth it, then try and reconcile. But only do that once as it usually doesn’t work … and you’re simply dragging out the disappointment and the pain.
8. Stop sitting and waiting for the phone to ring. Try and fill your life with other people and new things.
9. Don’t stalk your ex on tumblr or facebook. Block them if you need to … but get them out your mind.
10. Reminisce about the bad times – and be glad that they are gone. It’s time to build a future that’s much better than that.
11. Go outside and get some exercise. Research clearly indicates that exercise can change how you feel, and help you put life in perspective. It’s worth the extra effort as you’ll reap the benefits.
12. Be nice to yourself – you need to give yourself a break. Just because some other person has dropped you from their life, it doesn’t mean you’re worthless or you’ll never find true love. Appreciate your strengths, and really love who you are, and think about the fun times you have had with others friends. You deserve to be happy and loved for who you are.
— Brandon Speck, “A Letter to Myself, A Year Ago”
“if only you could see yourself now,
you’re settling back into a quiet autumn
and you’ve missed the smell of must, rain, and tobacco
kissed into the corners and couches
of the same house you share with seven others.
you miss the girl who used to sleep on your couch
who had the skull of the bird she is named after
tattooed across her arm.
you are glad you stopped drinking.
it’s 2am and you’re staying up far too late.
you have an interview for a job in the morning
that you will come to hate in 2 months.
you’re not in love the way you expected.
some memories turned into broken drawers
that you chose to store all your knives in,
every time you open them, they always come spilling out towards you.
you miss having sex with people you also love.
precariousness is now the pillow you sleep upon,
and you no longer have such structured repeating romance.
you no longer have such a structured repeating life,
and I know it killed you that you knew it wasn’t forever.
i know i can’t stop you from panicking,
but it will all make sense.
you repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat
until you realized it was too early to build such a life based on repetition.
you’re settling back into a quiet autumn,
and you’re stone sober at 4am after a Friday night
while the world starts to makes a strange kind of sense,
the same way words become meaningless when repeated enough times.
all of this
is to say,
you made it this far,
and i’m proud of you.”
you’re settling back into a quiet autumn
and you’ve missed the smell of must, rain, and tobacco
kissed into the corners and couches
of the same house you share with seven others.
you miss the girl who used to sleep on your couch
who had the skull of the bird she is named after
tattooed across her arm.
you are glad you stopped drinking.
it’s 2am and you’re staying up far too late.
you have an interview for a job in the morning
that you will come to hate in 2 months.
you’re not in love the way you expected.
some memories turned into broken drawers
that you chose to store all your knives in,
every time you open them, they always come spilling out towards you.
you miss having sex with people you also love.
precariousness is now the pillow you sleep upon,
and you no longer have such structured repeating romance.
you no longer have such a structured repeating life,
and I know it killed you that you knew it wasn’t forever.
i know i can’t stop you from panicking,
but it will all make sense.
you repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat
until you realized it was too early to build such a life based on repetition.
you’re settling back into a quiet autumn,
and you’re stone sober at 4am after a Friday night
while the world starts to makes a strange kind of sense,
the same way words become meaningless when repeated enough times.
all of this
is to say,
you made it this far,
and i’m proud of you.”
— Amy Poehler, Harvard Speech
“Continue to share your heart with people even if it has been broken.”
— Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood
“It feels good to think about you when I’m warm in bed. I feel as if you’re curled up there beside me, fast asleep. And I think how great it would be if it were true.”
E.W
"I’ve always kept and collected things, and I’ve always been interested in the idea of diaries. I must have 10 different personal diaries: I keep a dream diary, I keep a yoga diary, I keep diaries on people that I’ve met and things that they’ve said to me, advice that they’ve given me. I keep an acting journal. I keep collage books. They’ve given me a place where I can try to figure myself out, because those kinds of ideas feel too personal to put out into the public or even discuss with anyone else. It allows me to get things out of my head and work them out in a way that feels safe, which is really helpful. I can kind of play around with things."
Stay with me
Raindrops fall from everywhere
I reach out for you but you're not there
So I stood waiting in the dark
With your picture in my hands, story of a broken heart
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