you know how every now and then, you have a moment where your whole life stretches out ahead of you like a forked road, and even as you choose one gritty path you've got your eyes on the other the whole time, certain that you're making a mistake? 
--My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult -

nothing travels faster than the speed of
light with the possible exception of bad news,
which obeys its own special laws

any pain you're going through; it will end. Take a breath. think of that one happy thing in your life and smile. live another day; it's worth it.